Still

Lately I’ve been writing in my journal more than ever, but coming up short with anything I want to post. At least for now. Some things are more meaningful if given time to stew.

I stole the following list from a friend’s blog. Usually lists bother me. But I found the following a useful way to process my thoughts. It’s timely in its subject matter too. I always like to reflect with the fresh start of a new year. So—here’s what I am still doing this year…feel free to fill it out yourself as well.

Still amazed: at the mystery of Jesus. It never gets old.

Still getting used to: writing “2008”. Lake Oswego. My Abuela being gone and life feeling strangely void for now because of it.

Still loving: a clean house. Fits of laughter. Green vegetables. Words…beautiful words. The “Once” soundtrack. My new keyboard. Runner’s high. Peaceful evenings with my journal and a French press.

Still proud of: what I have learned and gleaned in the past eight months on housekeeping, caretaking, wisdom from my grandpa, and so much more. Cooking a variety of meals without ever using a recipe. The fact that I am finally using my i-pod after being scared of setting it up for a whole year (thanks for the help, Ellie).

Still not proud of: my ugly moments of selfishness. Or my tongue when it gets out of hand.

Still hoping: to be a better listener. To write a book. To return to India for a time. To see Celine in concert with Kelli (and still embarrassed of that one, too). To weight lift more often and have killer guns and calves.

Still worried: about my Abuelo’s loneliness.

Still never going to: wear toe socks. Or enjoy pulling hair out of the shower drain. Or make my future kids wear a leash.

Still pretending: I’m a Broadway Star defying gravity. That I will be really strong one day.

Still reading: “The Pleasures of Loving God” by Mike Bickle and “Naked” by David Sedaris. Wow—that’s a strange line-up, but it’s not as weird as it sounds…I guarantee it.

Still wanting to read: my Bible daily. All of Jane Austen’s novels. The newspaper each morning.

Still interested in: learning more about my family history. Bringing in some Benjamin’s by starting a small business with Christie. Painting more. Doing some sort of community theatre this summer. Spending more quality time with friends.

Still not interested in: heelys (those creepy roller-skate shoes). Pants with words across the butt. Cats as pets. The Neverending Story. Celebrity gossip. The stock market. Pee-wee Herman. Unrequited love.

Still looking forward to: having a family. Eternity with Jesus.

Still not looking forward to: satsumas being out of season. Breaking down the innumerable post-holiday cardboard boxes around the house.

Still failing: at being “handy”. Assembling things is not my gift.

Still grateful for: supportive family, friends and roommates. A wonderful grandpa.

Still Wondering: if I will adopt someday. If I will ever see Shoba again.

Still praying: to grow daily in the Lord and to be more yielded to Him. For India. That my friend Andrew will know Jesus.

Still not believing in: mom jeans. Futons. Diet fads. Hillary in ’08.

Still believing in: Jesus’ promise to be faithful to complete the good work He started in me.

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Be still and know that I am God ~ Psalm 46:10